Zombie from Canada
Today in English we were talking about once when we dressed up for Halloween or something else where we had to dress up fancy. I was getting ready, taking my pajama on which were blue shorts with monkeys on and a red t-shirt with a big white sign that says Canada. My hair was all messy because I backcomb it, I had dark black eye shadow in a circle all around my eye and my mums kohl eyeliner so it looked like I had sunglasses on. It was about 03:45 when I went to the clubhouse, there was a party there before going trick or treating, I was all dressed up. The first thing my mom said when she saw me was “ Why are you wearing sunglasses” I replied “ Mom it is just eye shadow” . First the small kids was playing some games and one of the ladies who helped arrange the party said me and my friends had to play as well but the games was as boring as watching a race between two snails.
After the kids finished playing games we had something to eat before going trick or treating, we got pizzas and cake. Because my parents was out watching tennis with my grandparents so me and my three friends, Anna, Emma and Lasse, had to give out candy for the small kids coming by. But finally when we were allowed to go around trick or treating, there were hardly any candy left, so we didn’t get that much. When we finished going around I went home to drop of my candy and I went to my friend Anna’s house to watch a movie.
November 12th, 2009 at 5:00 am
Very nice description and use of details! I particularly liked this simile: “games was as boring as watching a race between two snails.”
This is a nice first draft, but there can be so much more detail.
Your blog is looking great. Keep up the good work.